I have been nudged by my God to share the scrapings of this life because I am not alone in a journey that is not always smooth. I have found great solace in the ponderings of others and know it is my time to believe what I have been called to do. It is a bold step to share my inner thoughts and ponderings, kind of like taking off my skin at times. My hope is that you will find something you can use from the flow from heaven through my life down my fingers to the word!
Currently I am writing a book on my spiritual journey to discovering “It” while “It” was there all the time. I will be sharing chapters or segments of my book here, along with my poetry and musings.
I am a single mother of four children, two of which speak to me. Right there you can see I have a lot to work with for The Spirit! I have been married three times and went through a spiritual cleansing and re-entry into myself from Arizona to Minnesota and back again. I returned to Arizona to be a part of my estranged special needs daughter’s life and to be here for my mother. My other two adult children still have no contact with me.
I am a recovering addict, eight years as a matter of fact! I have seen much adversity in my life, which was usually at my own hands, although I could not see it. Needless to say, I have learned much.
I am a teacher, a writer, a historian, a poet, a designer, an artist, I could go on… Let’s just say I tap into my creative side or die! I pray and meditate, practice mindfulness, positive mindset, I struggle and fight things in my life and behaviors, and eventually I surrender to God and I try to remain teachable. I am a Christian woman and I am so grateful for all He has done in my life and the fruits of the future will be well rooted!
We all struggle. That was enlightening to pull my head out of my self-centeredness to realize that we all need support, love, and peace. The love I have found in God has been profound. I have been chosen and I said “Yes!” Yes to writing my journey, no matter how vulnerable I may feel, it allows God to work through me. Yes to picking up my day with Christ and carrying it as far as I can and then putting it down for a rest, for some peace, for some self-care. Yes to mothering a special needs adult and teenage son while hoping and trusting that there is a higher purpose. Yes to planting my feet in this world and in my days without running and being open to the changes in my character that I am being guided to temper. Yes to staying open to new people and experiences, challenging the unhealthy patterns that I lean on out of familiarity. My assets as a person closely bump into being liabilities. Life is about learning and I have come so far that I can see the evidence of hope in the faith walk I have been graced to be able to continue.
Let’s face it, I should not even be alive. That is the truth. But I am here and I have been given a mission to share how God has transformed a seemingly hopeless person into a beautiful 50 something woman who wears her gray hair long and wild, who respects the spiritual, physical, and emotional importance of continuing to grow.
I hope, and have heard, that when I am balanced you can see The Spirit shine through me, that is nothing short of a miracle!! It is about taking care of myself and giving. I am a sucker for the underdog and I have always been challenged by the fact that life is not fair.
The challenges in my life are my greatest teachers! They too are part of God’s big plan. Although I have some acceptance today, even though it is sometimes a struggle to get there, I am determined to be obedient and share through the written word gifts I have been given as a result of surrender and hope, grace and mercy, all because I am precious, a masterpiece, as are you! Blessings, light, and love!