Being Still by Colleen Rose

When I am in spiritual warfare or a limbo space between feeling The Spirit and big changes in my life, I get this uneasiness about myself that can only be quenched with writing or creating some kind of art.  This leads me to believe that when I am creating, I am in The Spirit!  It is amazing, even when I feel I can not connect via prayer or meditation, that by simply typing or picking up a pen and paper, I can immediately get to something that was itching, so to speak.  I may not get my answer, but I have switched my focus to something else and find myself being still.

These times are difficult.  Especially when I have no clue what God wants for me and I have been waiting.  I look for some feeling, clue or sign in some direction, I make lists and inventory situations or people that are involved in this decision, and still I am told to wait!  Maybe I am to learn temperance, maybe just slow down, meditate or listen to a motivational or spiritual speaker or music, perhaps dig deeper to find something I do not know that I have misplaced or lost, maybe a part of myself that needs to return in order to “know.”

I could turn right or left and I am sure all would be well, but I want His will for me and that is what ties me up.  Waiting for and paying attention to His direction is not easy.  Sometimes He is just there with a special song, number, sign that lets me know that He is right beside me, but still nothing.  No clue to what I am to do, so in this moment, I choose to be still. This is faith walking, a knowing that all things and events in life will work out because I am walking with Him, even if it does not “feel” like it.

Being still is an art.  It does not come easily but it is a lesson that I experience with Him over and over.  It requires obedience of a sort that challenges the best of dispositions, including mine, as I frequently become impatient, ready to turn right or left so to speak. I have found that in the waiting comes many gifts. After experiencing this and taking note, I have something to draw from in future “still” moments, knowing that in the waiting comes the gifts, the answers, or the process of just being.

And so I wait.  And I wait.  I keep walking in faith down the road on this journey and do what is right in front of me.  I work on turning my worrying thoughts away from this question and just do.  Simple mindful activities help, like hand washing the dishes, cleaning out a drawer or closet, straightening up the house, doing laundry, maybe the extraordinary loads that include draperies or couch cushion covers.  This act of staying in the moment erases the worry of a decision and actually brings me into conversation or state of being conscious with God.  Believe it or not, sometimes the light turns on and I realize this was the point!  To slow down and just be and know that He is the great “I Am!” That I do not need to always be going somewhere or making decisions to do or not do something. Maybe in this situation it will take care of itself by my being still.

I have to admit that being still has gotten easier, sometimes.  I do not always have to be going like a train in life, from one experience to another, moving, moving, moving.  I do not need to always know.  I can just be. It is an aquired skill I am still evolving into.

And so it is that I am here again and I do not need to know. I can turn to my methods of acceptance and staying here in the moment being grateful that I am still experiencing the grace of life on this planet, knowing that He has great adventures ahead for us and that we just become closer every day by being still in the moment.  I have learned to depend on Him and just be with Him because He has called me over and over again to be still!

So I do not know what you believe in, your spiritual ideals or practices, but this is a common theme among many faith walks. By being still I have roots deep into the ground that secure me when the winds of life are blowing and threaten my tree. I may lose a few branches, but by being steeped in this practice of being still, I can summon that special place of being still at any moment, burying my legs deeper into the soil of life to secure the steadiness that only comes from deeper roots.